Mixed emotions

Tonight on my way to the shower I noticed my bin of "clothes that someday I'll fit into again." So I decided to bring it back and give them a shot.

About half of them were too big :O I could fit into 2 dresses I know I wore the summer I was 16, I think one I even had when I was 14--I remember wearing it to church at summer camp. Can't say they looked the best, but they fit! They just don't fit a well endowed woman!

So that led me to go through my dresser. Only half of the drawers now have anything in them. Then on to the closet where I now have at least 2 times the amount of empty hangers compared to the ones with anything on them.

The hubs was in there while I tried some things on. Like a pair of shorts I knew was going to be too big, I wore them at my heaviest. I felt like Jared in a Subway commercial...being able to pull out a large section to the side. The hubs said, "That must make you feel good!" Well, I am mixed on that. Yes it's awesome that they are so big and literally falling of......but, at the same time it makes me sad. Disgusts me that I was ever that large to being with.

I wonder how I could have allowed myself to get so big. I think honestly I did realize just how large, ok--OBESE--there I said it, that I has gotten. Because of my age the weight wasn't holding me back too much. Because it went on slowly {although steadily} I didn't notice it as much.

This past week for my 4 year old's pre-school class they asked us to bring in a family picture. We tried to take on at my 2 year old's birthday party last weekend, but I had 2 little ones who weren't too keen on the idea of cooperation. So I was stuck looking for an old one. I ended up using one from Thanksgiving. I remember then people saying how good I looked, etc. Now I look back on those pics and I look so big compared to where I am at now! Especially the face.

It's only been 4.5 months now...and I've lost 84 pounds. Lately I go in a spurt where I'll lose a pound a day for a few days then zilch for a week. The good news is it is still coming off even if it is slow!

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