Monday, February 22, 2010

5 months, 89lbs

Wow. 5 months post-op today!

It is pretty amazing at how much has changed in the last 5 months. I have lost 89 pounds that I will never find again, thanks goodness!

The weather is trying to warm up. Once it does that will give me a lot more motivation to get outside and on the move. It has been unusually cold here in Florida this winter, we even saw some snow!

My birthday is next week. For years my mom has always made me a strawberry cake with strawberry icing. I loved putting a plop (or 2...or 3) of vanilla ice cream in a bowl with the cake and mixing it all together. I think I just salivated a little thinking of it. So earlier today Mom asked if I wanted a cake (my folks are coming up the following weekend). Of course I do!!! I won't eat much, just a few bites though. I'm sure many post-ops would freak at the thought of eating a few bites of cake, but I'm not going to deprive myself of something. I think a lot of times when someone is totally deprived of something (sugar, sweets, carbs, or whatever) when they have some (which inevitably happens somehow), it is almost as though they can't control themselves and over indulge.

My hair is still falling out, which is depressing. I can feel that it is a little thinner but not too much. It always looks like a lot sitting on the shower drain but I know in reality it is just a handful of hairs all bent and folded so it looks like more. I hope it slows down and stops soon. Some people it takes about a year. Some people don't have it happen at all. So there really isn't any way of telling when my magical end time could be.

I'll be headed back to Dr. F. next month for my 6 month mark. It will probably be my last visit with him. We will find out on Wednesday if the hubs will be getting transferred to Texas to finish flight school or if he will be finishing out here. All signs are pointing Texas at this time.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Mixed emotions

Tonight on my way to the shower I noticed my bin of "clothes that someday I'll fit into again." So I decided to bring it back and give them a shot.

About half of them were too big :O I could fit into 2 dresses I know I wore the summer I was 16, I think one I even had when I was 14--I remember wearing it to church at summer camp. Can't say they looked the best, but they fit! They just don't fit a well endowed woman!

So that led me to go through my dresser. Only half of the drawers now have anything in them. Then on to the closet where I now have at least 2 times the amount of empty hangers compared to the ones with anything on them.

The hubs was in there while I tried some things on. Like a pair of shorts I knew was going to be too big, I wore them at my heaviest. I felt like Jared in a Subway commercial...being able to pull out a large section to the side. The hubs said, "That must make you feel good!" Well, I am mixed on that. Yes it's awesome that they are so big and literally falling of......but, at the same time it makes me sad. Disgusts me that I was ever that large to being with.

I wonder how I could have allowed myself to get so big. I think honestly I did realize just how large, ok--OBESE--there I said it, that I has gotten. Because of my age the weight wasn't holding me back too much. Because it went on slowly {although steadily} I didn't notice it as much.

This past week for my 4 year old's pre-school class they asked us to bring in a family picture. We tried to take on at my 2 year old's birthday party last weekend, but I had 2 little ones who weren't too keen on the idea of cooperation. So I was stuck looking for an old one. I ended up using one from Thanksgiving. I remember then people saying how good I looked, etc. Now I look back on those pics and I look so big compared to where I am at now! Especially the face.

It's only been 4.5 months now...and I've lost 84 pounds. Lately I go in a spurt where I'll lose a pound a day for a few days then zilch for a week. The good news is it is still coming off even if it is slow!

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