4 months musings

Yesterday was my 4 month surgiversary. The months seem to pass more rapidly now.

As of this morning, I was .2 away from my goal for 4 months. Which means I have lost 79lbs! Although I'm bummed I didn't reach my goal--I am pretty darn close and happy that I did come so close.

I forgot to take my measurements at 3 months, so these numbers are 2 months worth of loss. I lost the most in my waist (4.5"), hips (4"), bust (3.25"), right thigh (2.5"--left came in at 1.5" but was smaller to begin with), and right bicep (2"--left was 1.25" but again smaller to begin with). It's really amazing to look at the inches as the continue to fall off. I never measure before surgery and began at 1 month out, I'm certain in that first month I lost some even though it didn't feel like it.

I've always been that girl with a pretty face. The saying always bothered me. Maybe it was because it pretty much said the rest of me wasn't pretty, or maybe it was because I didn't believe it. I suck at accepting compliments. Now though, at almost 80lbs less that my highest, I'm beginning to accept them and believe them myself. I think this realization hit one night when the hubs said something and I didn't argue with him on it...it took him by surprise, I think he had a comeback ready to try to prove to me that I did look good, and when he pointed it out to me that I didn't deny it it was an ah-ha moment.

Last weekend I went to the outlet mall in Foley, AL. At GAP I pulled down a pair of jeans and shirt and tried them on. They fit---and weren't even the biggest size that the store carries! I still feel weird shopping for myself in GAP though. Before I always felt like if I went in there for the hubs people would want to know why the fat chick was going in there, not like she can really wear anything. But now not only do I fit, but I'm not their biggest sizes either. That was a good feeling.

Losing {almost} 80 pounds isn't all glorious though either.

A few weeks ago my hair began to fall out. This is a normal thing to happen about 3-6 months post-op (sometimes longer). It is also one of the things about this surgery I have dreaded the most. I have a massive amount of hair, and it is thick too. Even 10 years ago in high school I would lose a lot of hair. At one point my mom took me to my Dr about it and they couldn't explain it either. So with my tons of hair and my tendency to shed a bit, I dreaded this part. It can be down right depressing to brush your hair and see it come out. Or take a shower and have to clean out the drain when you're done because hair is just stacked on top of it. So, I took an afternoon to myself (rare!), and got my hair cut. I figure even if the same amount of strands are coming out it'll look like less if it is a few inches shorter. I told my hair dresser if when washing my hair a lot came out, not to be alarmed. He asked if I had been under a lot of stress or had surgery recently. I told him surgery. He went on to tell me how he had surgery last year and lost a lot of his as well. Anesthesia can cause you to lose hair. With WLS not only do you have anesthesia working against you but also your body goes into starvation mode and begins to pull everything it would normally put in your hair and using it other places in your body. Then it works itself out of a funk and the hair gets attention again. When he was almost done with my hair he commented on how nice my hair is. 2 other hair dressers were sitting at their stations nearby and chimed in on how much I have and how great my hair looked. I couldn't help but laugh to myself and think what they would have said about the amount of my hair before!

We had L1's 4th birthday party 2 weeks ago. I didn't even have a bite of cake, much less a slice or 2. Sure there are times I want sweets, but it's not as often as it was before. There is even cake still left over from that party. Guess we should toss it out being L2's birthday is next weekend!

Before I had in my mind I wanted to hit -100lbs by my birthday (March 3rd), but I don't think that is going to happen now. The melting has slowed way down and another 21lbs I don't feel like is going to happen in 5.5 weeks. So I'm going to aim for -94lbs which will be 15 more than I'm at now.